








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1866 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 262 matches | ||
| Premier | 232 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 125 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 113 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 88 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




77 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9538 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 35,798 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10808 | 30% |
| Smokes | 9818 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 9267 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 5905 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,265,798 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1307 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Meltdown | 59% | 70 |
| #2 | Tommy the Turtle | 45% | 103 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Meltdown | 59% | 70 |
| #2 | Tommy the Turtle | 45% | 103 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tommy the Turtle | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Meltdown | 148 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #2 | Tommy the Turtle | 82 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ᴺ²ᴰˣ | +1.63 | 71 | 63 |
| #2 | Meltdown | +0.99 | 65 | 55 |
| #3 | Tommy the Turtle | -4.15 | 6 | 46 |





