








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 756 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 264 matches | ||
| Faceit | 154 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4516 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,007 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8045 | 37% |
| Smokes | 7429 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 3295 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 3238 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,191,008 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 337 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Masa | 54% | 28 |
| #2 | Thoompsoni | 53% | 30 |
| #3 | Y0ungThug | 48% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Masa | 54% | 28 |
| #2 | Thoompsoni | 53% | 30 |
| #3 | Y0ungThug | 48% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Masa | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thoompsoni | 82 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #2 | Y0ungThug | 59 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | Masa | 14 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Viimeisiä takuja? JARPPI | +0.96 | 64 | 65 |
| #2 | Thoompsoni | +0.71 | 50 | 69 |
| #3 | Y0ungThug | -0.10 | 46 | 60 |
| #4 | Masa | -2.15 | 49 | 41 |





