










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 48 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
460 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,226 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 275 | 22% |
| Smokes | 278 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 450 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 223 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $377,690 of utility $236 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 191 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Srg | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | Kirito | 51% | 69 |
| #3 | Sergei | 48% | 25 |
| #4 | Mirandos | 44% | 64 |
| #5 | aka † | 41% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Srg | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | Kirito | 51% | 69 |
| #3 | Sergei | 48% | 25 |
| #4 | Mirandos | 44% | 64 |
| #5 | aka † | 41% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kirito | 8 | 0.0057 |
| #2 | Mirandos | 6 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | aka † | 5 | 0.0083 |
| #4 | Srg | 1 | 0.0063 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kirito | 190 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #2 | Mirandos | 98 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | aka † | 81 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | Sergei | 53 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | Srg | 13 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Srg | +5.91 | 72 | 66 |
| #2 | Sergei | +4.00 | 76 | 59 |
| #3 | aka † | +2.20 | 52 | 54 |
| #4 | Kirito | +0.65 | 40 | 47 |
| #5 | Mirandos | -1.35 | 43 | 34 |





