








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 252 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2966 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,205 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3475 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1217 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 4120 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 1393 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $321,382 of utility $49 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 82 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jaadoo o_O | 3 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | SirN00bie | 3 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | Kenny Loggins | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | D'Artagnan | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Krusty | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iLL | +3.06 | 69 | 69 |
| #2 | Jaadoo o_O | +2.01 | 62 | 61 |
| #3 | Clover | +1.72 | 72 | 72 |
| #4 | SirN00bie | +1.28 | 54 | 57 |
| #5 | Krusty | +0.36 | 44 | 69 |





