








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 368 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 135 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2136 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,193 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 531 | 13% |
| Smokes | 1161 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1525 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 976 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $827,820 of utility $194 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 210 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BRAHAMeister | 64% | 14 |
| #2 | GENERAL | 58% | 65 |
| #3 | HAPPYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY | 58% | 24 |
| #4 | Sp | 54% | 67 |
| #5 | Schmauken | 44% | 105 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sp | 382 | 0.28 | 9 min |
| #2 | BenCoolman | 247 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #3 | Schmauken | 132 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | BenSchwarz | 132 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | GENERAL | 128 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GENERAL | +2.76 | 69 | 59 |
| #2 | Dead | +0.90 | 72 | 42 |
| #3 | BenCoolman | +0.27 | 57 | 66 |
| #4 | HAPPYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY | +0.15 | 56 | 48 |
| #5 | Sp | -0.33 | 74 | 65 |





