








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 259 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Premier | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
537 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,316 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 732 | 32% |
| Smokes | 525 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 553 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 506 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $159,273 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 42 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eemilstöö | 78% | 18 |
| #2 | KoseGrande | 57% | 7 |
| #3 | Fuuzera @Lehtosen Liikenne Oy | 54% | 13 |
| #4 | naxxzzz | 53% | 17 |
| #5 | Kallezzim0 | 50% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | KoseGrande | 57% | 7 |
| #3 | Fuuzera @Lehtosen Liikenne Oy | 54% | 13 |
| #4 | naxxzzz | 53% | 17 |
| #5 | Kallezzim0 | 50% | 10 |
| #6 | HALKO | 38% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | naxxzzz | 4 | 0.0105 |
| #2 | Eemilstöö | 1 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | KoseGrande | 1 | 0.0076 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | naxxzzz | 72 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #2 | Eemilstöö | 44 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #3 | Fuuzera @Lehtosen Liikenne Oy | 30 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | Kallezzim0 | 24 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | KoseGrande | 20 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eemilstöö | +2.44 | 84 | 36 |
| #2 | naxxzzz | +1.28 | 83 | 75 |
| #3 | Fuuzera @Lehtosen Liikenne Oy | +1.06 | 74 | 63 |
| #4 | T1nTT1 | +0.59 | 80 | 68 |
| #5 | KoseGrande | +0.56 | 64 | 69 |





