








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 194 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 364 matches | ||
| Faceit | 113 matches | ||
| Premier | 96 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5751 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,909 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2256 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1497 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 3610 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 4546 | 38% |
Our logs show you have wasted $858,681 of utility $82 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Szasta | 55% | 56 |
| #2 | UwU :3 | 55% | 199 |
| #3 | >.< | 53% | 383 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Szasta | 55% | 56 |
| #2 | UwU :3 | 55% | 199 |
| #3 | >.< | 53% | 383 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | >.< | 201 | 0.0333 |
| #2 | UwU :3 | 34 | 0.0083 |
| #3 | Szasta | 3 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | >.< | 553 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #2 | UwU :3 | 171 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #3 | Szasta | 124 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dyzoZ | +5.48 | 89 | 52 |
| #2 | Szasta | +1.02 | 74 | 57 |
| #3 | >.< | -2.03 | 50 | 36 |
| #4 | UwU :3 | -4.57 | 42 | 30 |





