








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2118 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Esplay | 509 matches | 1,790 | |
| Premier | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 130 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5836 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,215 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5607 | 21% |
| Smokes | 6415 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 7963 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 6230 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,348,468 of utility $172 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 578 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 🐓Finliraren🐓 | 66% | 50 |
| #2 | Pajp | 65% | 66 |
| #3 | HoorJohan | 62% | 47 |
| #4 | ruPertPuPk1n=D | 56% | 77 |
| #5 | Dead Rabbit | 54% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cenny. | 13 | 0.0233 |
| #2 | ruPertPuPk1n=D | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Bandit^ | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Pajp | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | BENKGT | 3 | 0.0018 |





