










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 834 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 112 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2143 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,336 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1541 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1677 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 763 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 1355 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $752,581 of utility $224 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 519 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝓛𝓾𝓴𝓮 | 63% | 30 |
| #2 | RandomChineseKid | 58% | 33 |
| #3 | StarlitKasumi☆ | 57% | 42 |
| #4 | ChazzyT | 52% | 67 |
| #5 | Godly Banana | 48% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | musherツ | 3 | 0.0108 |
| #2 | ChazzyT | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | StarlitKasumi☆ | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | StormChaser | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | RandomChineseKid | 1 | 0.0014 |





