










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 149 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
643 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,229 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1316 | 41% |
| Smokes | 204 | 6% |
| HE Grenades | 1230 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 479 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $219,186 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 31 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Naked Danny | 44% | 9 |
| #2 | I'am not a good player | 43% | 14 |
| #3 | Agathokakological | 38% | 8 |
| #4 | nice person 100% | 33% | 24 |
| #5 | xv | 33% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xv | 5 | 0.0079 |
| #2 | nice person 100% | 5 | 0.0108 |
| #3 | shart | 3 | 0.0076 |
| #4 | myeh | 2 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | Naked Danny | 2 | 0.0097 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | myeh | +4.05 | 76 | 51 |
| #2 | Naked Danny | +2.00 | 54 | 60 |
| #3 | I'am not a good player | +1.20 | 62 | 44 |
| #4 | shart | +1.00 | 64 | 44 |
| #5 | xv | +0.37 | 24 | 59 |





