










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 74 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank |
|---|
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
137 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 168 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 45 | 27% |
| Smokes | 33 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 52 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 38 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $47,750 of utility $187 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JJBandzzzz | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | claeb | 67% | 3 |
| #3 | Diah | 54% | 13 |
| #4 | imphami | 50% | 4 |
| #5 | wickuswackus | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | claeb | 67% | 3 |
| #3 | Diah | 54% | 13 |
| #4 | imphami | 50% | 4 |
| #5 | wickuswackus | 40% | 5 |
| #6 | hades | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JJBandzzzz | 8 | 0.0519 |
| #2 | Diah | 4 | 0.0155 |
| #3 | wickuswackus | 3 | 0.0316 |
| #4 | claeb | 1 | 0.0139 |
| #5 | hades | 1 | 0.0417 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Diah | 37 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #2 | JJBandzzzz | 17 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| #3 | imphami | 17 | 0.21 | 0 min |
| #4 | claeb | 13 | 0.18 | 0 min |
| #5 | wickuswackus | 11 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | claeb | +5.85 | 69 | 33 |
| #2 | MetalMyst | +2.59 | 67 | 36 |
| #3 | imphami | +1.35 | 71 | 22 |
| #4 | Diah | +0.61 | 64 | 59 |
| #5 | JJBandzzzz | -1.27 | 68 | 48 |





