








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 228 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 218 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2047 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,907 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2962 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2578 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1692 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1675 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $519,690 of utility $93 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 111 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | donny | 46% | 98 |
| #10 | Durbino | 45% | 73 |
| #11 | Mog Skywalker | 43% | 14 |
| #12 | Muck | 38% | 65 |
| #13 | A Silly Little Corgi | 31% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | donny | 9 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | A Silly Little Corgi | 3 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | Flooshing ur toilet | 3 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | M | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | TAMPA BAY HUGH G RECTIONS | 2 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flooshing ur toilet | +3.50 | 56 | 59 |
| #2 | donny | +2.38 | 43 | 55 |
| #3 | Durbino | +1.68 | 67 | 67 |
| #4 | Mike Oxlong | +1.44 | 73 | 61 |
| #5 | Muck | +0.99 | 66 | 57 |





