








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 8 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1379 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,612 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 511 | 32% |
| Smokes | 335 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 430 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 336 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $247,090 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 27 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lilja | 88% | 8 |
| #2 | Luigi | 78% | 9 |
| #3 | Chintzy | 75% | 8 |
| #4 | gamer | 70% | 23 |
| #5 | WHERE IS MY SUPER SUIT?! | 64% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | blue | 6 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | DarkSkinDaddy | 5 | 0.0128 |
| #3 | WHERE IS MY SUPER SUIT?! | 3 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | Luigi | 3 | 0.0176 |
| #5 | Abortion Survivor | 3 | 0.0189 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Abortion Survivor | +3.84 | 85 | 43 |
| #2 | blue | +3.50 | 88 | 66 |
| #3 | gamer | +2.66 | 78 | 49 |
| #4 | Luigi | +1.69 | 81 | 49 |
| #5 | WHERE IS MY SUPER SUIT?! | +1.48 | 70 | 62 |





