








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 220 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 197 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




55 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1984 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,211 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3724 | 45% |
| Smokes | 1595 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 2569 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 323 | 4% |
Our logs show you have wasted $943,240 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 527 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ChiLLLy JaKeY | 54% | 206 |
| #2 | WellsteadMaster | 51% | 41 |
| #3 | Noaratic | 51% | 71 |
| #4 | s1mp | 50% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ChiLLLy JaKeY | 54% | 206 |
| #2 | WellsteadMaster | 51% | 41 |
| #3 | Noaratic | 51% | 71 |
| #4 | s1mp | 50% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ChiLLLy JaKeY | 12 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | WellsteadMaster | 3 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | s1mp | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | Noaratic | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ChiLLLy JaKeY | 669 | 0.15 | 21 min |
| #2 | s1mp | 150 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #3 | Noaratic | 68 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | WellsteadMaster | 39 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ChiLLLy JaKeY | +1.90 | 73 | 66 |
| #2 | s1mp | +0.35 | 67 | 54 |
| #3 | Spinderella | -0.29 | 26 | 70 |
| #4 | Noaratic | -0.48 | 72 | 49 |
| #5 | WellsteadMaster | -2.27 | 40 | 56 |





