








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 244 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 64 matches | ||
| Premier | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1189 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,206 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 686 | 21% |
| Smokes | 889 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 871 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 760 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $530,113 of utility $210 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 22 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ANKER | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Little Hebs | 3 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | Kofak | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Vift | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | [h; i[ | 2 | 0.0144 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Little Hebs | 137 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #2 | Kofak | 95 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #3 | Vift | 86 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | Reed | 70 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #5 | ☪Lingalinyohoho | 35 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Little Hebs | +1.67 | 82 | 74 |
| #2 | Fjolle | +1.09 | 73 | 64 |
| #3 | C10 | +0.77 | 61 | 47 |
| #4 | ANKER | +0.71 | 80 | 40 |
| #5 | Reed | +0.32 | 88 | 74 |





