








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 22 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 22 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
531 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,636 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 397 | 24% |
| Smokes | 476 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 377 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 386 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $115,883 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ToshaS 🎄 | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | Hannah banana | 67% | 3 |
| #3 | MadeInRed | 67% | 9 |
| #4 | Snuubeee ♛ | 54% | 13 |
| #5 | Frip | 22% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Snuubeee ♛ | 54% | 13 |
| #5 | Frip | 22% | 9 |
| #6 | forever | 20% | 5 |
| #7 | Thomas | 0% | 3 |
| #8 | bevvenator | 0% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | forever | 1 | 0.0085 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Snuubeee ♛ | 51 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #2 | MadeInRed | 30 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #3 | forever | 23 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #4 | Thomas | 23 | 0.23 | 0 min |
| #5 | Frip | 15 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hannah banana | +2.98 | 94 | 78 |
| #2 | TeiN | +2.01 | 95 | 72 |
| #3 | Snuubeee ♛ | +1.07 | 90 | 64 |
| #4 | MadeInRed | +0.89 | 86 | 75 |
| #5 | Frip | +0.45 | 95 | 74 |





