








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 487 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 51 matches | ||
| Faceit | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 65 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1570 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,510 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1157 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1143 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1234 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 976 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $603,458 of utility $192 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 202 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yoggeli | 62% | 13 |
| #2 | ||BoeBoe | 61% | 64 |
| #3 | d4r1o | 58% | 84 |
| #4 | Süessmost | 42% | 12 |
| #5 | yoggeli2 | 35% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ||BoeBoe | 7 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | Houzfäuer Jörg | 3 | 0.0128 |
| #3 | yoggeli | 3 | 0.0131 |
| #4 | yoggeli2 | 2 | 0.0060 |
| #5 | d4r1o | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yoggeli2 | +2.99 | 59 | 56 |
| #2 | yoggeli | +2.91 | 70 | 59 |
| #3 | d4r1o | +2.27 | 64 | 64 |
| #4 | Guillaume Jean-Autiste II | +0.69 | 73 | 50 |
| #5 | ||BoeBoe | +0.21 | 61 | 39 |





