










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 39 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
232 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 352 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 210 | 60% |
| Smokes | 15 | 4% |
| HE Grenades | 82 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 45 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $162,429 of utility $184 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The sun's rising | 44% | 9 |
| #2 | Jonnern | 43% | 28 |
| #3 | eple007 | 36% | 33 |
| #4 | BreadShoe | 33% | 6 |
| #5 | Danieleatscookie | 29% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Jonnern | 43% | 28 |
| #3 | eple007 | 36% | 33 |
| #4 | BreadShoe | 33% | 6 |
| #5 | Danieleatscookie | 29% | 35 |
| #6 | O5k4r | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eple007 | 18 | 0.0291 |
| #2 | Danieleatscookie | 17 | 0.0259 |
| #3 | Jonnern | 10 | 0.0190 |
| #4 | The sun's rising | 6 | 0.0339 |
| #5 | BreadShoe | 1 | 0.0078 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Danieleatscookie | 159 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| #2 | Jonnern | 105 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #3 | eple007 | 78 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | O5k4r | 24 | 0.31 | 1 min |
| #5 | The sun's rising | 16 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BreadShoe | +6.01 | 77 | 27 |
| #2 | The sun's rising | +4.19 | 39 | 20 |
| #3 | Jonnern | +2.34 | 52 | 24 |
| #4 | eple007 | -0.91 | 18 | 18 |
| #5 | O5k4r | -3.77 | 21 | 41 |





