








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 239 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 31 matches | ||
| Wingman | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1910 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,873 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1560 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1612 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1480 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1221 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $667,071 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 154 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Nelcia | 55% | 38 |
| #8 | Alzheimer Gaming | Nalax | 54% | 59 |
| #9 | Shigaon | 45% | 20 |
| #10 | dabidibam | 44% | 32 |
| #11 | Owl | 38% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hubercik | +2.50 | 84 | 72 |
| #2 | ENEF ✪ ✪ ✪ | +1.43 | 86 | 57 |
| #3 | Alzheimer Gaming | Nalax | +1.24 | 67 | 61 |
| #4 | KRQM | +0.97 | 71 | 48 |
| #5 | Suspicious DVD Salesman | +0.49 | 62 | 37 |





