








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 95 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 42 matches | ||
| Premier | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
878 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,356 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 560 | 17% |
| Smokes | 987 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 796 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1013 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $250,572 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Majorka | 48% | 25 |
| #2 | Moș Crăciun | 43% | 14 |
| #3 | Mehti | 39% | 83 |
| #4 | Nicebro# | 37% | 19 |
| #5 | kLok; | 32% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Nicebro# | 37% | 19 |
| #5 | kLok; | 32% | 34 |
| #6 | Josan | 31% | 32 |
| #7 | Joe Black 🖤 | 25% | 16 |
| #8 | B1LA | 15% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Majorka | 10 | 0.0193 |
| #2 | Mehti | 6 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | Joe Black 🖤 | 2 | 0.0058 |
| #4 | Josan | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mehti | 341 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #2 | Josan | 134 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #3 | Majorka | 88 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #4 | kLok; | 59 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | Joe Black 🖤 | 59 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Moș Crăciun | +2.28 | 68 | 72 |
| #2 | Nicebro# | +0.58 | 72 | 58 |
| #3 | Mehti | +0.58 | 55 | 77 |
| #4 | kLok; | +0.35 | 80 | 68 |
| #5 | Majorka | -0.33 | 50 | 66 |





