








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 27 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
309 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,161 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 321 | 28% |
| Smokes | 280 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 281 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 279 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $64,935 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WerQb0b | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | ryydman | 75% | 4 |
| #3 | Tonzzza ♥ | 75% | 4 |
| #4 | Larppis | 75% | 4 |
| #5 | Kalevi A. Penttinen | 75% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mit vit | 1 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | Kalevi A. Penttinen | 1 | 0.0105 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mit vit | 33 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #2 | Ϋ©LØ$ŵÃQ|τŵסּғаčэ | 24 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #3 | Mr.Fist | 24 | 0.24 | 0 min |
| #4 | Gpupdate /force | 23 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #5 | Tonzzza ♥ | 22 | 0.33 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mit vit | +5.72 | 90 | 62 |
| #2 | Akz ♛ | +3.74 | 94 | 63 |
| #3 | Tonzzza ♥ | +3.68 | 72 | 84 |
| #4 | Larppis | +2.48 | 15 | 81 |
| #5 | Gpupdate /force | +1.79 | 68 | 72 |





