








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 41 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 50 matches | ||
| Premier | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
587 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,184 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 690 | 32% |
| Smokes | 722 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 267 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 505 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $273,270 of utility $80 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CharmedJBird | 63% | 52 |
| #2 | AdnanT | 60% | 124 |
| #3 | HPsauce007 | 58% | 19 |
| #4 | Olive | 57% | 120 |
| #5 | Petabyte | 57% | 91 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CharmedJBird | 63% | 52 |
| #2 | AdnanT | 60% | 124 |
| #3 | HPsauce007 | 58% | 19 |
| #4 | Olive | 57% | 120 |
| #5 | Petabyte | 57% | 91 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Olive | 22 | 0.0092 |
| #2 | Petabyte | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | AdnanT | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | HPsauce007 | 2 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Petabyte | 304 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #2 | CharmedJBird | 224 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #3 | Olive | 135 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #4 | AdnanT | 64 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #5 | HPsauce007 | 42 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AdnanT | +9.92 | 73 | 50 |
| #2 | HPsauce007 | +2.15 | 74 | 57 |
| #3 | CharmedJBird | +1.83 | 52 | 66 |
| #4 | Petabyte | +0.68 | 62 | 56 |
| #5 | Olive | -1.57 | 33 | 20 |





