








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
344 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 534 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 280 | 52% |
| Smokes | 36 | 7% |
| HE Grenades | 102 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 116 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $39,214 of utility $44 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 24 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | slim | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | giggly9s2 | 50% | 4 |
| #3 | Freshly Squeezed Juice | 48% | 27 |
| #4 | owenbovendoven | 46% | 26 |
| #5 | Purified Drinking Water | 38% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | slim | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | giggly9s2 | 50% | 4 |
| #3 | Freshly Squeezed Juice | 48% | 27 |
| #4 | owenbovendoven | 46% | 26 |
| #5 | Purified Drinking Water | 38% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | owenbovendoven | 5 | 0.0095 |
| #2 | Freshly Squeezed Juice | 2 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | Purified Drinking Water | 1 | 0.0061 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Freshly Squeezed Juice | 100 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #2 | owenbovendoven | 72 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | slim | 23 | 0.30 | 1 min |
| #4 | Purified Drinking Water | 11 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #5 | giggly9s2 | 8 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | slim | +2.89 | 25 | 63 |
| #2 | Freshly Squeezed Juice | +0.61 | 51 | 56 |
| #3 | Buongiorno Italia, gli spaghetti | -0.30 | 49 | 43 |
| #4 | owenbovendoven | -0.39 | 53 | 48 |
| #5 | giggly9s2 | -1.60 | 19 | 38 |





