








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 595 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 192 matches | ||
| Faceit | 169 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 46 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4135 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,283 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2689 | 22% |
| Smokes | 4264 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 3020 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2310 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,910,880 of utility $213 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 282 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jacka | 69% | 32 |
| #2 | luja5253 | 66% | 67 |
| #3 | MrCactusLD | 57% | 156 |
| #4 | ⚡cvitah | 56% | 230 |
| #5 | Zexoy ツ | 51% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jacka | 69% | 32 |
| #2 | luja5253 | 66% | 67 |
| #3 | MrCactusLD | 57% | 156 |
| #4 | ⚡cvitah | 56% | 230 |
| #5 | Zexoy ツ | 51% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⚡cvitah | 10 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | MrCactusLD | 9 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Zexoy ツ | 7 | 0.0070 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MrCactusLD | 523 | 0.15 | 14 min |
| #2 | luja5253 | 261 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #3 | ⚡cvitah | 251 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #4 | Zexoy ツ | 143 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | Jacka | 91 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SinjeZmaj | +1.32 | 63 | 61 |
| #2 | MrCactusLD | +0.83 | 69 | 65 |
| #3 | Zexoy ツ | +0.45 | 67 | 60 |
| #4 | luja5253 | -0.03 | 71 | 67 |
| #5 | Jacka | -0.59 | 45 | 67 |





