








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 690 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 178 matches | ||
| Faceit | 72 matches | ||
| Wingman | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2171 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,259 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1094 | 11% |
| Smokes | 2993 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2999 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3173 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,485,996 of utility $193 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 61 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zischler | 60% | 20 |
| #2 | Sakul555 | 54% | 229 |
| #3 | Eleblyat | 52% | 29 |
| #4 | ady | 47% | 159 |
| #5 | chiri | 37% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Eleblyat | 52% | 29 |
| #4 | ady | 47% | 159 |
| #5 | chiri | 37% | 27 |
| #6 | wotah. | 37% | 41 |
| #7 | NaLa^ | 31% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sakul555 | 4 | 0.0008 |
| #2 | ady | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | Eleblyat | 2 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | NaLa^ | 2 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sakul555 | 605 | 0.12 | 13 min |
| #2 | ady | 563 | 0.17 | 13 min |
| #3 | wotah. | 145 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #4 | NaLa^ | 84 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | chiri | 78 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wotah. | +1.84 | 73 | 76 |
| #2 | ady | +0.49 | 54 | 66 |
| #3 | Sakul555 | +0.11 | 54 | 69 |
| #4 | Zora | -0.82 | 44 | 49 |
| #5 | chiri | -1.48 | 52 | 58 |





