








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 397 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 51 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1612 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,704 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1378 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1081 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1163 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1082 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $227,482 of utility $82 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 271 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fes | 86% | 7 |
| #2 | copiN | 71% | 7 |
| #3 | Ose | 69% | 13 |
| #4 | FAOZATØ | 69% | 32 |
| #5 | Murasaki._. | 67% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rad. | 2 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | wsg | 2 | 0.0080 |
| #3 | FAOZATØ | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Ose | 1 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | Murasaki._. | 1 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FAOZATØ | 144 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #2 | Ose | 50 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #3 | copiN | 40 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #4 | vanilla | 34 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | Rad. | 28 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eggless omelette | +2.63 | 78 | 65 |
| #2 | Khaz | +2.57 | 78 | 18 |
| #3 | Ose | +2.55 | 74 | 49 |
| #4 | wsg | +2.28 | 78 | 66 |
| #5 | copiN | +1.89 | 79 | 64 |





