








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 34 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 686 matches | ||
| Faceit | 28 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7253 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,012 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4048 | 24% |
| Smokes | 5373 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 4982 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2609 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,252,234 of utility $199 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 312 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nivro | 57% | 70 |
| #2 | BBC | 54% | 149 |
| #3 | noobdiiiii | 52% | 54 |
| #4 | shamks | 48% | 629 |
| #5 | ⍟ArroW⍟ | 47% | 309 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | shamks | 48% | 629 |
| #5 | ⍟ArroW⍟ | 47% | 309 |
| #6 | --asd | 44% | 441 |
| #7 | Rawn | 44% | 233 |
| #8 | plEase | 40% | 131 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shamks | 40 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | --asd | 22 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | plEase | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | ⍟ArroW⍟ | 5 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Rawn | 5 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shamks | 2960 | 0.22 | 80 min |
| #2 | --asd | 708 | 0.07 | 17 min |
| #3 | Rawn | 599 | 0.12 | 15 min |
| #4 | BBC | 338 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #5 | plEase | 205 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shamks | +2.55 | 81 | 63 |
| #2 | BBC | +1.69 | 73 | 61 |
| #3 | Nivro | +1.47 | 89 | 32 |
| #4 | --asd | -0.04 | 63 | 48 |
| #5 | ⍟ArroW⍟ | -0.36 | 67 | 11 |





