








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 480 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 225 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




80 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4343 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,484 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6260 | 40% |
| Smokes | 4147 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1649 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 3428 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,047,867 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1818 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | de_pressiøn | 28 | 0.0082 |
| #2 | mz | 10 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | swaghunter | feminist (6'2) | 8 | 0.0062 |
| #4 | ツクヨミ d(UwU)b | 6 | 0.0116 |





