








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 98 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 435 matches | ||
| Faceit | 256 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6635 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,909 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3141 | 13% |
| Smokes | 8399 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 5817 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 7552 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,581,762 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 11 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | marv | 52% | 222 |
| #2 | ★ enemy7 | 52% | 455 |
| #3 | Morpheus | 50% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | marv | 52% | 222 |
| #2 | ★ enemy7 | 52% | 455 |
| #3 | Morpheus | 50% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★ enemy7 | 13 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | marv | 11 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Morpheus | 3 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★ enemy7 | 1436 | 0.15 | 39 min |
| #2 | marv | 831 | 0.17 | 21 min |
| #3 | Morpheus | 79 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★ enemy7 | +1.43 | 75 | 74 |
| #2 | Jaro | -0.08 | 90 | 59 |
| #3 | marv | -0.40 | 77 | 70 |
| #4 | Morpheus | -1.12 | 52 | 69 |





