








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 451 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2284 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,412 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1380 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1242 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 2057 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1733 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $661,628 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FlashBangFool | 57% | 23 |
| #2 | Erwin Eisensack ʕಠᴥಠʔ | 52% | 183 |
| #3 | Nail Gun Nils | 44% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FlashBangFool | 57% | 23 |
| #2 | Erwin Eisensack ʕಠᴥಠʔ | 52% | 183 |
| #3 | Nail Gun Nils | 44% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nail Gun Nils | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Erwin Eisensack ʕಠᴥಠʔ | 2 | 0.0005 |
| #3 | FlashBangFool | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Erwin Eisensack ʕಠᴥಠʔ | 682 | 0.18 | 18 min |
| #2 | Nail Gun Nils | 139 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | FlashBangFool | 40 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sarkus Möder ¯\_( ͡❛ ͜ʖ | +1.35 | 81 | 63 |
| #2 | Erwin Eisensack ʕಠᴥಠʔ | +0.43 | 69 | 73 |
| #3 | FlashBangFool | -1.63 | 45 | 50 |
| #4 | Nail Gun Nils | -2.83 | 66 | 61 |





