








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 659 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 192 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4035 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,274 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1512 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1461 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 1091 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 210 | 5% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,315,988 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 256 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joel Serafin's son | 63% | 41 |
| #2 | 98 in 4 | 58% | 45 |
| #3 | hungover | 48% | 31 |
| #4 | Zec | 46% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joel Serafin's son | 63% | 41 |
| #2 | 98 in 4 | 58% | 45 |
| #3 | hungover | 48% | 31 |
| #4 | Zec | 46% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zec | 5 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | 98 in 4 | 3 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | Joel Serafin's son | 3 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | hungover | 2 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zec | 255 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #2 | Joel Serafin's son | 85 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | hungover | 45 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | 98 in 4 | 22 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 76561198316005016 | +3.21 | 75 | 31 |
| #2 | Joel Serafin's son | +2.65 | 79 | 48 |
| #3 | 98 in 4 | +2.04 | 74 | 29 |
| #4 | Zec | -0.59 | 35 | 46 |
| #5 | hungover | -2.12 | 36 | 49 |





