








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 25 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 144 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1461 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,004 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1572 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2148 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1191 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 2093 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $549,996 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 18 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Apex★ | 55% | 77 |
| #2 | Nicotin | 53% | 59 |
| #3 | h1treX | 49% | 167 |
| #4 | lcs_ | 42% | 69 |
| #5 | falutz | 39% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Nicotin | 53% | 59 |
| #3 | h1treX | 49% | 167 |
| #4 | lcs_ | 42% | 69 |
| #5 | falutz | 39% | 46 |
| #6 | St3ack | 37% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | h1treX | 10 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | Apex★ | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | lcs_ | 4 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | St3ack | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | falutz | 2 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | h1treX | 661 | 0.19 | 15 min |
| #2 | Apex★ | 191 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #3 | St3ack | 107 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | lcs_ | 83 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | Nicotin | 66 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Apex★ | +1.31 | 68 | 62 |
| #2 | HANUTA | +0.91 | 80 | 56 |
| #3 | Nicotin | +0.17 | 58 | 45 |
| #4 | lcs_ | -0.47 | 53 | 47 |
| #5 | falutz | -0.50 | 57 | 45 |





