








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 322 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 560 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




63 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6995 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,760 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2998 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2514 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 3481 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2767 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,037,989 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 58 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JimmyBigNuts | 50% | 222 |
| #2 | alec_the_7 | 50% | 98 |
| #3 | Thrax 666 | 48% | 280 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JimmyBigNuts | 50% | 222 |
| #2 | alec_the_7 | 50% | 98 |
| #3 | Thrax 666 | 48% | 280 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thrax 666 | 48 | 0.0079 |
| #2 | JimmyBigNuts | 34 | 0.0071 |
| #3 | alec_the_7 | 4 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thrax 666 | 749 | 0.12 | 18 min |
| #2 | alec_the_7 | 395 | 0.19 | 12 min |
| #3 | JimmyBigNuts | 109 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JimmyBigNuts | +2.62 | 79 | 39 |
| #2 | $ui | +1.44 | 72 | 48 |
| #3 | Thrax 666 | -0.49 | 72 | 58 |
| #4 | alec_the_7 | -1.19 | 52 | 66 |





