








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 70 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 29 matches | ||
| Premier | 10 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
937 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,728 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 318 | 18% |
| Smokes | 565 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 392 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 453 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $282,583 of utility $179 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 150 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Kempine | 43% | 14 |
| #7 | B_NEXX | 25% | 4 |
| #8 | -jL | 22% | 9 |
| #9 | n0te | 20% | 5 |
| #10 | Kamil3e | 17% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | B_NEXX | 1 | 0.0081 |
| #2 | n0te | 1 | 0.0083 |
| #3 | nikitea | 1 | 0.0083 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -jL | 40 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #2 | n0te | 27 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #3 | Kamil3e | 25 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #4 | Kempine | 24 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | dziugss | 20 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -jL | +4.70 | 91 | 73 |
| #2 | nikitea | +2.57 | 82 | 50 |
| #3 | spardaus | +1.86 | 94 | 83 |
| #4 | dziugss | +1.30 | 96 | 70 |
| #5 | Kempine | +1.22 | 95 | 60 |





