








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 348 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 153 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1907 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,196 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1188 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1740 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1057 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1211 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $889,875 of utility $176 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 38 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CHAMA BIG BLACK HUND | 52% | 187 |
| #2 | Dond redeem | 51% | 169 |
| #3 | NoHacks | 45% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CHAMA BIG BLACK HUND | 52% | 187 |
| #2 | Dond redeem | 51% | 169 |
| #3 | NoHacks | 45% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dond redeem | 22 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | CHAMA BIG BLACK HUND | 16 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | NoHacks | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CHAMA BIG BLACK HUND | 945 | 0.24 | 25 min |
| #2 | Dond redeem | 420 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #3 | NoHacks | 90 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CHAMA BIG BLACK HUND | +3.68 | 84 | 72 |
| #2 | King James | -0.64 | 66 | 44 |
| #3 | Dond redeem | -0.71 | 75 | 47 |
| #4 | NoHacks | -2.24 | 40 | 52 |





