








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 183 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 119 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1597 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,449 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 859 | 19% |
| Smokes | 872 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1510 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 1208 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $684,088 of utility $188 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 199 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xAHEN | 68% | 31 |
| #2 | asdgfadfg | 59% | 111 |
| #3 | frqtz | 58% | 67 |
| #4 | asdf | 57% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xAHEN | 68% | 31 |
| #2 | asdgfadfg | 59% | 111 |
| #3 | frqtz | 58% | 67 |
| #4 | asdf | 57% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | asdgfadfg | 21 | 0.0103 |
| #2 | asdf | 8 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | frqtz | 4 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | xAHEN | 3 | 0.0050 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | asdgfadfg | 346 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #2 | asdf | 308 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #3 | frqtz | 178 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #4 | xAHEN | 118 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xAHEN | +5.77 | 88 | 64 |
| #2 | asdgfadfg | +2.89 | 88 | 65 |
| #3 | asdf | +0.65 | 78 | 69 |
| #4 | frqtz | -1.80 | 73 | 58 |
| #5 | Chris | -2.31 | 45 | 49 |





