








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1803 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 314 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




78 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3925 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,855 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1959 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1126 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 2250 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1520 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $935,323 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 302 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Throw | 61% | 36 |
| #2 | my mom is kinda homeless | 51% | 201 |
| #3 | CoffeeQK | 45% | 221 |
| #4 | sara ❤ | 45% | 267 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Throw | 61% | 36 |
| #2 | my mom is kinda homeless | 51% | 201 |
| #3 | CoffeeQK | 45% | 221 |
| #4 | sara ❤ | 45% | 267 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sara ❤ | 107 | 0.0194 |
| #2 | my mom is kinda homeless | 48 | 0.0114 |
| #3 | CoffeeQK | 46 | 0.0102 |
| #4 | Throw | 4 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | my mom is kinda homeless | 643 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #2 | sara ❤ | 432 | 0.08 | 10 min |
| #3 | CoffeeQK | 346 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | Throw | 75 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Throw | +8.57 | 84 | 75 |
| #2 | 8====D | +2.13 | 75 | 42 |
| #3 | my mom is kinda homeless | +0.92 | 62 | 35 |
| #4 | sara ❤ | +0.27 | 75 | 21 |
| #5 | CoffeeQK | -4.65 | 27 | 19 |





