








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 825 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 113 matches | ||
| Wingman | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4714 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,149 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3316 | 25% |
| Smokes | 4069 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2590 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3174 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,213,184 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 126 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Nymphis | 45% | 128 |
| #8 | Altosk | 45% | 74 |
| #9 | Boo hoo nih | 43% | 120 |
| #10 | Grungus | 37% | 30 |
| #11 | Big Shitty | 32% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nymphis | 12 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | UndetectedSTD | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Boo hoo nih | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Muffin | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Grungus | 2 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skept | +5.22 | 76 | 61 |
| #2 | UndetectedSTD | +2.90 | 70 | 55 |
| #3 | Boo hoo nih | -1.30 | 54 | 39 |
| #4 | Stayfrosty | -1.78 | 29 | 56 |
| #5 | Nymphis | -1.82 | 67 | 72 |





