








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 405 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 323 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 96 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




64 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5472 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,553 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5318 | 34% |
| Smokes | 3046 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 4912 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 2277 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $751,127 of utility $74 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 663 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ VanE | 67% | 30 |
| #2 | unCRACCable | 60% | 47 |
| #3 | chro_- | 52% | 205 |
| #4 | Big Dick Larry | 47% | 75 |
| #5 | KMOBALLS | 33% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ VanE | 67% | 30 |
| #2 | unCRACCable | 60% | 47 |
| #3 | chro_- | 52% | 205 |
| #4 | Big Dick Larry | 47% | 75 |
| #5 | KMOBALLS | 33% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chro_- | 25 | 0.0059 |
| #2 | Big Dick Larry | 14 | 0.0088 |
| #3 | KMOBALLS | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | ✪ VanE | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chro_- | 573 | 0.14 | 15 min |
| #2 | Big Dick Larry | 167 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #3 | KMOBALLS | 113 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | unCRACCable | 84 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | ✪ VanE | 29 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chro_- | +2.68 | 80 | 57 |
| #2 | j | +1.43 | 71 | 58 |
| #3 | ✪ VanE | +1.31 | 71 | 47 |
| #4 | Big Dick Larry | +0.47 | 77 | 53 |
| #5 | unCRACCable | -0.34 | 71 | 49 |





