








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 445 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1190 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,882 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 525 | 28% |
| Smokes | 710 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 576 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 71 | 4% |
Our logs show you have wasted $374,061 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 215 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skyswaya | 65% | 48 |
| #2 | WolfHub | 63% | 87 |
| #3 | Science Team Member | 61% | 18 |
| #4 | Sadizzle | 61% | 56 |
| #5 | hi im dory | 57% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WolfHub | 12 | 0.0073 |
| #2 | Skyswaya | 6 | 0.0067 |
| #3 | Sadizzle | 5 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | Science Team Member | 4 | 0.0122 |
| #5 | ItzVinc | 3 | 0.0026 |





