








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 15 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 25 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
578 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,792 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 456 | 25% |
| Smokes | 303 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 515 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 518 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $151,655 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cameraman | 45% | 11 |
| #2 | VailaDormir_Putin | 41% | 27 |
| #3 | Jamal CSGOSKINS | 36% | 22 |
| #4 | ppp | 28% | 18 |
| #5 | Gomessss Madorneiruuu | 23% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ppp | 89 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| #2 | Gomessss Madorneiruuu | 53 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #3 | Jamal CSGOSKINS | 40 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | VailaDormir_Putin | 36 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | catana | 22 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cameraman | +1.94 | 74 | 49 |
| #2 | ppp | +1.44 | 67 | 54 |
| #3 | -lemos | +0.60 | 66 | 52 |
| #4 | catana | +0.49 | 78 | 52 |
| #5 | Jamal CSGOSKINS | -2.13 | 39 | 45 |





