








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 103 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3896 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,253 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1662 | 39% |
| Smokes | 293 | 7% |
| HE Grenades | 879 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1419 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $222,678 of utility $32 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 84 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | himas, kui? Lauriih | 48% | 219 |
| #4 | VapiC:) | 40% | 55 |
| #5 | Kiharatar | 38% | 26 |
| #6 | 1TapElite ⌖ Lauriih | 30% | 46 |
| #7 | Jimson | 11% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VapiC:) | 15 | 0.0137 |
| #2 | himas, kui? Lauriih | 11 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Arjerr | 9 | 0.0063 |
| #4 | 1TapElite ⌖ Lauriih | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Kiharatar | 1 | 0.0019 |





