








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 264 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1130 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,843 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 756 | 41% |
| Smokes | 427 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 394 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 266 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $512,889 of utility $243 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 61 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Tec | 54% | 50 |
| #3 | Canyon Speemax C.F. 8 | 53% | 15 |
| #4 | Heercamelot | 53% | 55 |
| #5 | Krimlux | 48% | 48 |
| #6 | Darc | 43% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Heercamelot | 273 | 0.25 | 7 min |
| #2 | Tec | 121 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | Canyon Speemax C.F. 8 | 63 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #4 | Krimlux | 42 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | Darc | 12 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Canyon Speemax C.F. 8 | +5.44 | 71 | 82 |
| #2 | Heercamelot | +4.97 | 75 | 79 |
| #3 | Tec | +0.27 | 78 | 47 |
| #4 | Krimlux | +0.27 | 82 | 35 |
| #5 | GregZZ | +0.25 | 77 | 37 |





