










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 5 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
50 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 149 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 48 | 32% |
| Smokes | 4 | 3% |
| HE Grenades | 59 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 38 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $68,591 of utility $229 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 174 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gabagool | 50% | 4 |
| #2 | Tonys benis | 33% | 3 |
| #3 | Challe | 25% | 16 |
| #4 | Nilsson | 21% | 14 |
| #5 | Lasilokas | 17% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gabagool | 50% | 4 |
| #2 | Tonys benis | 33% | 3 |
| #3 | Challe | 25% | 16 |
| #4 | Nilsson | 21% | 14 |
| #5 | Lasilokas | 17% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Challe | 30 | 0.1075 |
| #2 | Nilsson | 15 | 0.0566 |
| #3 | Lasilokas | 10 | 0.0909 |
| #4 | Gabagool | 5 | 0.0769 |
| #5 | Tonys benis | 1 | 0.0182 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Challe | 48 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #2 | Tonys benis | 11 | 0.20 | 0 min |
| #3 | Gabagool | 8 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| #4 | Lasilokas | 7 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #5 | Nilsson | 2 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gabagool | +7.22 | 88 | 26 |
| #2 | Challe | +4.00 | 80 | 31 |
| #3 | Nilsson | +3.81 | 63 | 7 |
| #4 | Tonys benis | +0.59 | 59 | 32 |
| #5 | NYAN NYAN NETANYAHU | -3.31 | 10 | 11 |





