








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 2 different maps


Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
75 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 172 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 48 | 28% |
| Smokes | 41 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 77 | 45% |
| Molotovs | 6 | 3% |
Our logs show you have wasted $29,500 of utility $186 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | impossible things | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | riorio~kyun | 100% | 2 |
| #3 | milk emerging from her almond | 100% | 4 |
| #4 | 𝔴𝔵𝟙𝟚𝟙 | 60% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | impossible things | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | riorio~kyun | 100% | 2 |
| #3 | milk emerging from her almond | 100% | 4 |
| #4 | 𝔴𝔵𝟙𝟚𝟙 | 60% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | milk emerging from her almond | 1 | 0.0120 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | milk emerging from her almond | 12 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| #2 | impossible things | 6 | 0.16 | 0 min |
| #3 | 𝔴𝔵𝟙𝟚𝟙 | 2 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #4 | riorio~kyun | 1 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | riorio~kyun | +6.53 | 58 | 7 |
| #2 | 𝔴𝔵𝟙𝟚𝟙 | +3.39 | 61 | 5 |
| #3 | milk emerging from her almond | +2.25 | 63 | 64 |
| #4 | impossible things | -1.64 | 53 | 19 |
| #5 | krraaken | -1.72 | 53 | 60 |





