








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 169 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 49 matches | ||
| Premier | 31 matches | ||
| Faceit | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1247 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,611 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 787 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1139 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 646 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1039 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $298,576 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 90 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MIKS3N *Maikelele | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | Mavors | 51% | 35 |
| #3 | Max | 51% | 37 |
| #4 | Lord Kirk | 51% | 43 |
| #5 | Sexico | 50% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Max | 51% | 37 |
| #4 | Lord Kirk | 51% | 43 |
| #5 | Sexico | 50% | 26 |
| #6 | h4ans1 | 49% | 68 |
| #7 | Demon | 34% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lord Kirk | 11 | 0.0126 |
| #2 | Demon | 7 | 0.0104 |
| #3 | h4ans1 | 5 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | Max | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | Sexico | 2 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lord Kirk | 142 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #2 | Mavors | 116 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #3 | h4ans1 | 115 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | Sexico | 52 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Demon | 47 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lord Kirk | +5.83 | 75 | 69 |
| #2 | Sexico | +1.73 | 73 | 55 |
| #3 | K1DDER | +1.03 | 55 | 48 |
| #4 | h4ans1 | +0.22 | 47 | 48 |
| #5 | MIKS3N *Maikelele | -0.68 | 67 | 54 |





