








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 268 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 173 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2232 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,217 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3866 | 54% |
| Smokes | 1427 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 476 | 7% |
| Molotovs | 1448 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $629,051 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 101 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪Darrel | 55% | 205 |
| #2 | Fatty | 48% | 148 |
| #3 | dipsy | 36% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪Darrel | 55% | 205 |
| #2 | Fatty | 48% | 148 |
| #3 | dipsy | 36% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪Darrel | 14 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | Fatty | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | dipsy | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪Darrel | 511 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #2 | Fatty | 238 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #3 | dipsy | 212 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪Darrel | +2.57 | 79 | 49 |
| #2 | petaR | -0.08 | 62 | 59 |
| #3 | Fatty | -1.11 | 64 | 59 |
| #4 | dipsy | -3.07 | 59 | 63 |





