










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 824 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 407 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 189 matches | ||
| Esplay | 107 matches | 1,595 | |
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 302 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




69 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5455 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 34,038 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9304 | 27% |
| Smokes | 10469 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 8008 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 6257 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,920,296 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 645 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fabriksbitchen | 34% | 85 |
| #2 | DjHoeFace | 34% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fabriksbitchen | 34% | 85 |
| #2 | DjHoeFace | 34% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fabriksbitchen | 5 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | DjHoeFace | 4 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DjHoeFace | 165 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #2 | Fabriksbitchen | 97 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fabriksbitchen | +0.64 | 26 | 52 |
| #2 | Tuttis =) | +0.29 | 46 | 72 |
| #3 | DjHoeFace | -2.24 | 46 | 65 |





