








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 6 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
692 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,935 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 560 | 29% |
| Smokes | 562 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 311 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 502 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $201,969 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Imagynwagons | 50% | 6 |
| #2 | iceman3551 | 50% | 8 |
| #3 | dddd | 46% | 13 |
| #4 | Same | 45% | 11 |
| #5 | HODOR | 45% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Same | 45% | 11 |
| #5 | HODOR | 45% | 20 |
| #6 | Red | 43% | 37 |
| #7 | Gunzsy | 29% | 7 |
| #8 | Endzeit | 25% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dddd | 2 | 0.0067 |
| #2 | iceman3551 | 2 | 0.0113 |
| #3 | HODOR | 1 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Endzeit | 1 | 0.0052 |
| #5 | Gunzsy | 1 | 0.0066 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HODOR | 23 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #2 | Endzeit | 22 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #3 | Red | 21 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #4 | iceman3551 | 21 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | dddd | 16 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dddd | +2.04 | 49 | 34 |
| #2 | Red | +1.61 | 43 | 49 |
| #3 | Same | +0.74 | 37 | 22 |
| #4 | HODOR | +0.62 | 57 | 40 |
| #5 | iceman3551 | -0.39 | 14 | 64 |





