










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 451 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 341 matches | ||
| Wingman | 133 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 117 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 94 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




141 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5590 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,681 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3635 | 34% |
| Smokes | 3407 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1802 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1837 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,339,459 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 453 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Hawk | 51% | 180 |
| #6 | squeak | 47% | 99 |
| #7 | Sixixix | 45% | 393 |
| #8 | Jägermeister | 43% | 403 |
| #9 | Special | 39% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mikey | 106 | 0.0212 |
| #2 | Jägermeister | 78 | 0.0104 |
| #3 | Sixixix | 56 | 0.0072 |
| #4 | Hawk | 49 | 0.0132 |
| #5 | Shadow | 24 | 0.0098 |





